welcoming to a new female centered self.

So, I am female.

Something that is an obvious observation about my self, but since we are on the internet that may not be so obvious.

don't know where being or becoming a girl or woman comes from, but iam starting to understand that it is based in the way we outwardly represent ourselves. This "repersentation" has a lot to do with the "roles" we play. The way we choose to interact or not interact in certain situations.

I'm not sure if I am a girl or a woman, I mean I guess i am both. I don't really know what the qualification are of being either. But I DO know that my sex is FEMALE ( I got a lot figured out, huh?) A lot the roles i can think of off the top of my head have some sort of gender based connotations.

the reason I am questioning this is because me as a creator doesn't want to create. I mean my art making urges are changing, they have turned in the desire to wash the dishes, wash my clothes by hand, cook or sew or clean the layer of invisable dirt that lies everywhere. I have never known myself to think about these chores, let a lone to forward to them.

I don't know how to fight the urges I have so I will succumb to them , at least for a week, and document this new 1950s house wife/ maid like self.

bowing down action number on:
2 nights ago. I washed all the dishes in my friends house. I worked speechlessly and wiped away tears with soapy hands. sink this morning status: full again
Monday night:
washed my underwear and socks, naked in the shower. Hung clothing to dry on bamboo shower curtains. status: still drying